I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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