By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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