i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
