Too much gin, very little bucket
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize