im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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