the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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