It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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