Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
