I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bring me that man meat
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
