When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize