True but thats because hes a fetus.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
His nipple licking is glorious
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