before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
