i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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