oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
