glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
