Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
time to smoke my breakfast
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
