i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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