dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
