ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
