I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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