There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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