the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
