Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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