i can't believe i had my finger in that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
