Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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