i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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