i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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