He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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