OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
