last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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