So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
