my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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