She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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