This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
