Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
