U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize