Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
