what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
