Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
