and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize