Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize