What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
