I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I am one with the molecules
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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