I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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