dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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