What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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