Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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