Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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