is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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