I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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