i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
