What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
