So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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