He uses pillows to masturbate.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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