Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
