it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize