apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
