It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
