Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You're like the curious george of whores
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize