guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize