you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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