pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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