I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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