oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
