I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
